“Without wood, the fire goes out,
without a gossip, strife ceases.” (Proverbs 26:20) (NIVUK)
We can easily justify gossip by thinking that what we are doing is well intended and that the information is something others should know about. But is it?
Reflect on these questions and consider your motives before you share negative information about another person:
- Do others really need to know this information?
- Will sharing it make me make me feel important because I know something that someone else doesn’t?
- Will it make me feel self-righteous and ‘more godly’ than the person whose secret I know?
- Do I like drama – having a scandal to share?
- Do I care about the reputation of the person I am gossiping about?
- Is there dislike, unresolved conflict, or jealousy at the heart of my actions?
Here’s a story to illustrate the damage caused by gossip:
A parishioner had ‘gossiped’ about the pastor and then later found out that their information was incorrect. When she apologised to the pastor, he took her to a widow in an upper story of a building in the centre of their town. He had written out the slander she had spoken about him on a few sheets of paper. He asked her to tear them up and then throw them from the window. As she threw the pieces, the wind caught them and scattered them far and wide throughout the town. Then, much to her horror, he asked her if she would go and recover the pieces.
Even though he was willing to forgive her, the damage was done. Searching for and collecting the pieces of paper was an impossible task. So too, those idle words of gossip are quickly spread and impossible to retrieve.
“The words of a gossip are like choice morsels,
And they go down to the inmost parts.” (Proverbs 26:22) (NIVUK)
Karen Barclay
